One Thousand Words Gallery Debut
On February 2nd, 2024, in Binghamton N.Y. at the Bundy Museum. My Gallery Debut for Silent Portraits: “One Thousand Words" unveiled a collection where imagery transcends verbal communication. Within this exhibition, I delve into the profound emotions embedded in 13 of the 20 showcased photographs, offering viewers an intimate journey through the silent narratives each portrait whispers.
"One Thousand Words" is a gallery that reflects my journey from emotional isolation to profound human connection, achieved through the art of portrait photography. Initially distanced from deep emotional ties, I discovered in photography a powerful medium for bridging gaps between myself and others. It became more than a method of capturing images; it evolved into a vibrant channel for engagement, understanding, and connection.
The heart of this transformation lay in the interactions during each photoshoot. As my subjects and I shared stories and experiences, the camera became a secondary character in a deeper narrative of human connection. These exchanges, filled with vulnerability and trust, allowed us to explore and express a spectrum of emotions, from pure joy to the complexities of anger, loss, fear, pain, and depression. It was in these moments of shared humanity that the true essence of my subjects came to light, enabling me to capture portraits that were not just visually striking but emotionally resonant.
The portraits in "One Thousand Words" thus embody these emotional journeys. Each image is a testament to the power of connection in unveiling the multitude of layers that define us. They invite viewers to look beyond the façade, to engage with the stories of joy, struggle, resilience, and vulnerability that each subject shares. This collection is not just a showcase of my photographic skills, but a narrative of my own growth and connection with others, a journey where each photograph reveals a deeper story, echoing our shared human experiences.
I WILL BE OK
HE WILL CHANGE
"He Will Change" words that make us confront a powerful and painful reality that unfolds behind closed doors and hides beneath a veil of shame. This statement is echoed by over ten million individuals each year, many of whom remain in the suffocating silence of their own suffering. They are bound by the love that once laid the foundation for a life that would eventually become a prison—a love that becomes both their hope and their torment.
This image delves into the profound depths of human resilience, highlighting the extraordinary pain we are willing to endure in the fervent belief that things will one day return to the idyllic past. It explores the complex web of emotions that shroud the victims of abuse, trapping them in a cycle of despair and fleeting hope.
My journey as a foster parent exposed me to the intricate psychology of those who endure such torment. It unveiled the chilling truth of how individuals can convince themselves that the mental and physical anguish inflicted upon them by those they once trusted is somehow justified, an accident, or a mere lapse in judgment.
HUSTLE
Bring Me Peace
"Bring me Peace" delves deep into the enigmatic world of Local Indie Wrestler Sean Carr. The inspiration for this portrait is a blend of lighting techniques I gleaned from my colleague, Joshua Lasky, and the unsettling aesthetics of Netflix's true-crime biopics. My goal was to capture the fractured essence of Sean's wrestling career during his time as a "heel," a persona that stands in stark contrast to his true nature.
Having grown up as close friends with Sean, I can attest to his innate charisma, his selfless nature, his role as a caring father, and his overall genuine goodness. Yet, it was precisely this stark duality that compelled me to create a portrait that serves as a captivating juxtaposition.
"Bring me Peace" is a visual representation of the facets of ourselves that we often suppress—the moments when we refuse to let anger overcome us, the times when we hold back our true feelings. It is a powerful exploration of the inner conflict we all grapple with, the struggle between our public personas and our private emotions.
My First Apartment
A poignant reflection on a peculiar and evanescent phase of life. It is a moment that exists in the quiet intersection between childhood innocence and the responsibilities of adulthood—a state of being that arrives unannounced and departs unnoticed.
This is not a chronological milestone, but an emotional one, where we suddenly find ourselves burdened by responsibilities we were never fully prepared to shoulder, yet somehow, we manage to carry them. It is a juncture that introduces us to the essence of solitude, where we truly become aware of our presence within our own space.
In this transitional phase, the rules and guidelines of our upbringing transform into mere suggestions, while the life lessons we once held dear momentarily slip from our grasp. We are graced with a sense of immortality, with pockets weighed down by mere pennies, a mattress resting in the center of an empty room, and a solitary cup sitting by the sink. The ambient noise from the neighbor's television serves as the soundtrack to this isolated interlude.
For this fleeting moment, our entire world is distilled into the confines of this humble space. It is a time when the burdens of adulthood take a temporary pause, allowing us to savor the sweet taste of independence and the freedom to chart our own course. It is a moment that, once gone, leaves behind a lingering sense of nostalgia—a reminder that even amidst life's challenges, we can find solace and beauty in the simplicity of a single, solitary moment.
My Camouflage
Who Am I
In a world of curated moments and staged smiles, this image serves as a stark reminder of our hesitance to reveal the depths of our vulnerability. It's effortless to capture candid snapshots of our lives, presenting a facade of joy and perfection, but to expose the unscripted and unfiltered aspects of our existence is a rare occurrence.
The core question lingers, "Who am I?" Do we define ourselves by the personas we project online, the faces we wear in public, or do we discover our true essence when we are alone, left to grapple with the silence and the reverberations of our own thoughts? Are we a fusion of these disparate selves, or do we remain a mystery even to ourselves?
We must take a moment of contemplation to dissect our intricate layers of identity. It challenges us to embrace the authentic, unvarnished versions of ourselves, hidden beneath the layers of societal expectations and digital personas. Through this image, we embark on a journey to uncover the enigmatic truth of our existence, seeking the elusive answer to the question that haunts us all: "Who am I?"
Feel No Pain
Closed Wounds
Time holds the power to mend our deepest wounds while leaving behind a mark of its own. As we navigate life's labyrinth, scars become our companions, each with a unique origin and story to tell. Whether they stem from the surgeon's scalpel or the consequences of our own choices, these scars serve as a visual diary of our resilience and growth, bearing witness to the battles we've fought and the lessons we've learned.
In the tapestry of human experience, scars transcend mere physical marks, becoming emblematic of our enduring spirit. They are the tangible reminders of our capacity to heal, adapt, and emerge stronger from life's trials. Each scar etches its narrative onto the canvas of our being, a testament to our resilience, and a reflection of the beauty that emerges from the passage of time.
Alone
In the vast tapestry of existence, I find myself often misunderstood and abandoned by a world that seems to have moved on. The feeling of solitude permeates my every moment, leaving me to navigate the complexities of life's journey alone. It's as if I am struggling to connect with a society that remains distant and detached.
As I watch the hourglass, I contemplate the ceaseless passage of time, which only seems to magnify my isolation. Each grain of sand falls relentlessly, mirroring the days that slip away, leaving me in a state of perpetual solitude. Society's insistence that I come outside, shed my self-imposed shell, only deepens my sense of vulnerability. Despite their well-intentioned efforts, I remain hypnotized by my own introspection, unable to bridge the gap between my world and theirs.
Words elude me as I try to explain the profound emotional turbulence within me. It's a struggle known to many who have grappled with their inner demons in silence. In this solitary state, I find solace in the enigmatic dance of my thoughts and emotions.
Goodbye
The Grieving Father
"The Grieving Father" is a self-portrait that bares part of my soul and captures the grief that has consumed me since the loss of my precious daughter Rylee. In the depths of my sorrow, I often find myself unable to express the overwhelming emotions that weighed me down, leaving me feeling utterly isolated and broken.
After her funeral, as I returned home and the reality of her absence settled in, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders. It wasn't a nightmare I could wake up from; she was truly gone. I spent hours in solitude, clutching a small pink bear that had once belonged to her during her hospital stay. In that poignant moment, I vowed to myself that her memory would never fade away with the passing years. She deserved more than to be forgotten.
My camera, which had been used for a photo shoot just weeks before, sat nearby, and I decided to capture a self-portrait with her bear. This image was my way of honoring her memory and ensuring that it would endure. It was a small tribute to a life that was taken from us too soon, a testament to the enduring power of love even in the face of profound loss. "The Grieving Father" is a reflection of my journey through grief, a visual narrative of the love, pain, and determination that marked this chapter of my life.
Deep Breath
In the tapestry of life, Amanda's story weaves a narrative of resilience and tenacity. At just six months old, she began a journey fraught with lung problems, leading to a life-altering transplant by her first birthday. The subsequent 18 years saw her bound by a feeding tube, a testament to her unwavering spirit and determination to reclaim her health. Her story, as she recounts it, resonates deeply within me, echoing my own battles and triumphs.
My own journey veered into darkness on January 13, 2019, when my wife and I found ourselves in a hospital room, confronted by the stark reality of our daughter, Rylee Marie Wark's, rare condition. Born just three days earlier, she weighed a robust 9 pounds and 14 ounces but faced a life confined to the hospital. In the face of heart-wrenching decisions, we chose organ donation, a choice laden with the weight of our loss and the hope of others.
Amanda's narrative brought closure and perspective, allowing me to glimpse the other side of the coin. Her journey underscored the preciousness of life and the transformative power of organ donation. As my wife and I have discovered, this act offers solace and relief amid grief, granting our daughter's legacy the potential to breathe life into others. Through this image, we are reminded of the indomitable human spirit, resilience in the face of adversity, and the enduring legacy of those who give the gift of life.
For My Country
TMR, a Marine Corps Combat Veteran turned musician, characterized by a harmonious blend of creativity and responsibility. As the driving force behind the Rap group Space Force, he has crafted hits like "The Wellerman Rap" and "Space Invaders," demonstrating his ability to revel in the joy of his work. However, he also carries the weight of a substantial online following, recognizing the importance and duty that accompanies such influence.
TMR's commitment transcends the realm of music. He has dedicated his life to his country, emerging as a staunch advocate for combatting the alarming issue of suicidal awareness that plagues our troops. Through his art, he addresses pressing topics, from confronting racism within the ranks to dispelling stereotypes associated with his career choices as a young African man.
TMR's profound connection to both his faith and his nation is palpable. He utilizes his platform not just for entertainment but as a vehicle for challenging societal norms, urging fellow musicians to aspire to higher standards. He engages in public discourse, even venturing into feuds with prominent figures like Lil Nas X, releasing thought-provoking tracks like "Holy War" and "Holy Smokes," igniting conversations and demanding introspection.
This portrait encapsulates the essence of TMR—the space-age jacket, a symbol of artistic playfulness, reminds us that it's acceptable to embrace the lighter side of our craft. However, the draped American flag serves as a poignant reminder that there exists a greater purpose, a solemn duty to serve and protect. TMR is unafraid to stir the hornet's nest, driven by the belief that only through challenging the status quo can positive change be forged.
After Recovery
"After Recovery" is a portrait that dives deep into the soul of KC Makes Music, a rapper and songwriter from Connecticut.
I met KC at his studio when he was recording a music video for a song he was featured on "Angoriphobia" by Mass Of Man. Among many shots taken that day, one stood out as a testament to KC’s journey of recovery as he sat in his studio taking in everything he had built since he started on this path. It went beyond visuals, connecting with the emotional depth within.
KC's path to recovery was marked by unwavering determination, mirrored in his music. In his song "Shot in the Dark," he shares:
"This one was different, I had to sit with
All of the pain, guilt, and shame
And the drugs couldn't fix it anymore
I hit a point where change was the only way
I was going insane, no one to blame
But me, myself, and my decision to live."
These lyrics echo the journey of those battling addiction, that pivotal moment when they choose change over self-destruction.
I, too, relate to this journey. After a medical discharge from the Marine Corps, I battled addiction to sleeping medication and alcohol, using them to escape my problems. It took time, multiple suicide attempts, and regrettable actions before I accepted the problem. Recovery wasn't overnight; it was a gradual process that took nearly two years to overcome.
"After Recovery" is a reminder of shared stories and the strength in KC's lyrics, urging me to stay on my path to recovery.
Love Me Tomorrow
Love me Tomorrow is a contemporary portrayal of Venus, the ancient Goddess of love, beauty, sex, fertility, and victory. This image narrates a timeless story—one we often witness in cinematic moments—the "Come back to bed" interlude.
This moment captures the profound human experience of finding solace under the sheets, a sanctuary where one can confront the haunting specters of the past or the anticipation of a future fraught with uncertainty. It embodies the dichotomy of emotions that often surface during these intimate moments—a delicate balance between the lingering echoes of yesterday and the potential for regrets that tomorrow may bring.
As long as we remain nestled in the embrace of the present moment, the past and future fade into insignificance. In this bed, two souls find refuge from the relentless march of time, their vulnerability masked by the sanctuary of their togetherness.
My Turn
Proof of the Soul
"Proof of the Soul" delves into the recurring theme of death that has long inhabited my artistic journey, stemming from its pervasive presence in my personal life. The specter of death has cast its shadow over my world, claiming friends, comrades, family, and even my own beloved daughter. In the face of such losses, it becomes almost inevitable to question the relentless presence of the Angel of Death.
The image contemplates whether this ethereal entity lingers nearby, haunting us due to the sins of our past, the harm we inflicted on others, and the darkness keep within. It captures the essence of my personal struggle, my own battle with the Fate's cruel mistress, and the profound questions it raises.
As an artist, I have found myself fixated on exploring the fragility and brevity of human existence. "Proof of the Soul" is a manifestation of this fixation, an attempt to reclaim power from the Angel of Death by confronting its presence head-on. In this photograph, I seek to capture the vulnerability of life and the enduring questions that surround mortality, offering viewers a glimpse into the complex and haunting narrative that continues to shape my work.
Sitting at the Edge
The Last One
Taking one last drag from a cigarette, a symbolic act that encapsulates the universal human experience of bidding farewell to something once held dear.
We all have our "last ones" – those elements of our past that we've left behind, shedding old habits and making strides towards positive change. Over time, the sharp edges of our memories soften, blurring the negative aspects that once prompted our transformation. As we move forward, we find ourselves yearning for a metaphorical drag of that last cigarette, a chance to revisit a time just beyond our reach.
"The Last Ones" invites viewers to contemplate the allure of our past vices, the seductive embrace of nostalgia, and the complexity of letting go. Through this image, we navigate the delicate dance between our past and our present, acknowledging that even as we evolve, the echoes of our past experiences continue to shape our journey.
