We have all heard this in one way or another “Pics or it didn't happen,” a simple phrase to express how bizarre a story is. It's an innocent statement of disbelief that is more family-friendly than saying “What in the actual fuck!” when your grandma posts a story about an incident at the supermarket.

A simple harmless string of words. Yet, it is a phrase I have grown to hate. Well, not so much the phrase itself, but more the current culture we live in that the phrase has come to represent. The “I must take a photo of everything I do from every angle or no one will believe it happened” society. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the purpose of evidence. If a court of law had to approve every story we shared online, then maybe I would feel differently, but the fact is, we don't.

The Truth About Taking Photos Of Everything

Back in 2022, a couple took a selfie. They were standing in front of the airplane wreckage they had been on. Several people had lost their lives. The selfie divided the internet over whether it was in good taste or not. Documenting a life-defying event they survived made sense. But, people were outraged that they would post a selfie smiling knowing not everyone was so lucky.

As I read the back story, it reminded me of an event when a drunk driver crashed into the adjoining apartment where I lived. When I mentioned it online, I was met with skepticism. “Pics or it didn't happen.” Knowing who it came from along with the conversation that followed, it was clear that they had no interest in knowing what happened. They decided I was lying and I needed to provide them with proof of the incident. They didn't even ask if everyone was ok (no one got injured). I just left them believing whatever, but that’s the thing…

Let's say this couple did not take the photo and mentioned it. No one would believe them if they said they experienced such a near death experience. We are creating a culture where people feel the need to document every aspect of their lives. In case something happens and they need to prove they were there. But then when we do it’s also a problem…. damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Stolen Valor

As a photographer, adventurer, and person who hordes hard drives, old iPhones and owns bins of printed photos, I am nothing less than a hypocrite on the surface. I get it. In fact, I didn't always feel this way. I used to spend a lot more time taking photos than enjoying adventures. I kind of regret it because, as it turns out, it doesn't even matter if you have photos to prove your life to others.

Throughout the course of my life. People have accused me of stealing valor on many occasions, including very public demonstrations.

USMC veteran Bryan Wark arriving in country 2007

Even with photos of me sitting on the rooftop of the place I called home for almost two years in Fallujah, Iraq, a local Binghamton photographer started a stolen valor rumor questioning my credentials and telling people I never served in the armed forces. I went to high school with a kid who joined the Marine Corps after he went to college. This means he joined after I had already joined, deployed, gotten hurt, and received my honorable medical discharge and accommodations. He took to the internet to tell me that buying military gear at a thrift shop was a disgrace and the title of Marine was something you earned, not a costume for fat asses, assuming I had never served.

My basic training graduation photo, photos of me in Iraq, my DD214, military ID, veteran ID, the word veteran on my license, my disabled veteran’s national parks pass that requires a 30 percent rating, or my state's pass that requires a 50 percent rating... All that proof and the “Pics or it didn't happen” mentality of our society still have people questioning my military career.

Bryan Wark, week 2 living out of a 3 day pack when on a mission, reestablishing com links and power to Iraqi police station.

I bring this up to make a point. This experience in my life is what made me realize this. Who actually cares who believes me? Better yet, why should anyone care who believes them? Your life belongs to you. Your memories belong to you. Don't feel the need to document your life for others. Enjoy your life and share your stories.

Photos Are Not Fun

Ok, that may be a little harsh, but… I spent several years working as a school and sports photographer and a wedding photographer before I focused most of my passion into fine art portraiture. So it's only logical I am met with the statement, "Wow, you must get a lot of amazing photos of your kids." completely reasonable assumption. The fact is, nope. I don't. I rarely take photos of my children honestly. My wife does, but I don't. In fact, I avoid it sometimes.

35mm film, cinestill 50D, Krista, Isaiah and Josiah Wark

For one. My kids a lot of times hate having their photos taken, and second, I enjoy living in the moments of their lives rather than staging them. It seems every time I go to a park, there is a parent yelling at their crying child for not taking the perfect family photo for Instagram to prove to the world that they are attentive parents.

I, of course, want you to document memories so your kids so they can look back on them in the future. But then grab a single photo “one and done” if it's a little blurry or not perfect. Who cares? If the images are for your kids' memories, one less-than-picture-perfect photo is enough in my opinion. You know what your kids remember: you playing with them at the park. Don't ruin the entire day by making them remember getting a time-out because they didn't smile the right way. Over-documenting things isn't fun. Live your life.

***I do want to mention though I am not judging people this is my opinion, obviously, you know what’s best for your family, not me.

Memories are Better Than Photographs

I asked several people their opinions about their life adventures, and one of them rings true across the board. I asked them to share a story about something epic they experienced. Their eyes lit up when they told me. They talked about colors and smells, went on tangents, talked about side adventures, described the weather and the feel of things, and painted the story with words for me. Then I asked them if they had any photos of the adventure or story. They all did, and as they pulled it up, there was always a slight look of disappointment on their faces and a follow up of “It's not the best picture, but...” because photographs don't always live up to the true life event.

The bed I slept on when I stayed in an abandoned house for a couple weeks

When an alligator attacked me, I remember my heart dropping, the sun’s heat hitting my face as my skin sizzled, knowing I would be dealing with a sunburn. It became the least of my worries as I watched the gator enter the water. I felt it rise, and it was cold as ice as my skin turned clammy. In that second, I knew that it was up to him and him alone if I was going to be able to leave the swamp alive.

I joke about it a lot, but in reality, at that moment I felt like I was having a life or death experience. It is a poorly taken photograph of a wild gator sunbathing on the shore, seconds before he charged at me. You can't even see how large he was in comparison to myself. The picture in no way lives up to the experience.

Final Thoughts

In the words of G-Eazy “If I say something, I mean it." Live your life like that. If someone questions an adventure you went on. Let them not believe you, because a lot of adventures worth sharing around a campfire don't come with photos. If anything, you were more worried about surviving than taking photos. On the same note, Take as many photos as you like it’s your life. That’s what it comes down to IT’S YOUR LIFE live it and document it for you, not the approval of the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong with taking photos; I made it a career. My wife and I take photos at every state line crossing sign for fun as we explore America. It's our thing. Photos are a great way to share our lives with one another and keep memories alive. Just don't get caught up in taking photos to prove anything to others. That's what matters. Live your life and enjoy it, in the moment, don't worry about having to document it.