Why I Quit Professional Photography
Created with Mid-journey text to image generator
For several years, as a professional photographer, I ran a fairly successful photography business out of Binghamton, NY. I photographed weddings regularly from north of Watertown, NY, all the way to Manhattan Island. On a few occasions, I even went up to Maine for a few second-shooter gigs to cover for a friend. When I wasn't shooting weddings, I had opportunities to travel the country and tour with bands from California to Florida. Some of my shots even landed me on the Billboard Top 200 List, engraving myself a small footnote in music history. I spent my slow winter season working as the Lead Photographer at a school and sports photography company, where I would train photographers on everything from professionalism to troubleshooting equipment.
Photo courtesy of Michal Lepore, http://www.brightshotstudios.com
On paper, it looked like I was a shoo-in to add "Serving the industry for more than 15 years" to my website and tell stories to young photographers who had surgically replaced their eyes with camera lenses. CameraHead will no longer be my comic but an actual creature like a living creepypasta . I will say things like “I remember when we had to manually load SD cards into our cameras” much as old-time film technicians shared their stories with me. Well, that's not the case, and because I am my own boss and have no one to tell that I am resigning, I shall write my letter of resignation, which you will find here.
Camerahead changing lenses illustrated by Created by Imri
My Heart Isn't In It
Photo of the Bride by Bryan Wark
You always hear about photographers getting burned out. This happens for many reasons, from taking on too much work and stretching yourself thin to poor business practices that make it hard to keep your head above water long enough to breathe, leaving people stressed and burned out. However, those things happen a lot easier when your heart isn't in something, and I didn't want it to happen to me.
I know if I kept going I would have gotten burned out, but it wasn't me who I was worried about. It was my clients. I knew that clients would start to receive shabby work, photos would go unedited for longer than they should, and eventually, things would fall through the cracks just enough that I would ruin someone's wedding. I was not about to do that to someone, so I simply decided to leave on a high note, where I could be proud of my accomplishments.
Enjoying the Night - photographed by Bryan Wark
Where my heart lies is within the pages of this website. Creating art to create it, experimenting with different mediums, and being able to express opinions without losing sponsorships or potential clients, I'm deciding today to print out a photo and experiment with putting gold leaf on it just because I want to try it. I have time because there needs to be a laundry list of business stuff I have to do.
Loaded with my little GAF-LS 35mm film camera, Nikon z7ii digital camera, and a Polaroid camera, I am free to set out on adventures to fuel my Camera Head Comics with inspiration and concentrate on the things that make me happy. Some people are driven by material possessions and grind, so they can take a photo of a bankroll or hold a title like "Professional Photographer," "Best Photographer in Binghamton," or claim the title Number 1 from Smitty Werben Man Jensen.
And I get it because that was me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Hell yeah, run that race and be the best. You need someone in your corner to root for you, call me up. I'll be there with my camera to snap that finish-line photo. I love to see people succeed, and there is nothing wrong with doing so. This is nothing more than my confession, and I personally don't care about the labels or the grind you have to be on to get them. I want to be artist without bounds that is where my place is.
Dancing the Night Away - Photographed by Bryan Wark
The Industry Kinda Sucks
Now, this is, of course, a matter of opinion, and I have, of course, met some amazing people along the way. But to me and my experience, the photography industry is an XXL dumpster fire with a side of "WTF did I just walk into?" People brag about overcharging clients and providing very little service to them. From the middle school lunchroom table cliques spreading weird rumors to destroying people's businesses, being a professional photographer is a bit over the top and downright exhausting.
There are 2 important parts to professional photography: your pretty straightforward business part, which includes bookkeeping organization, and your workflow. You know the things that you do to run a successful business. Then there is the industry part. That part sucks, and with modern technology, it can be nearly impossible to separate yourself from and have a business.
Now that I already know there will be people going to comment, "I successfully manage to do it every day without getting involved in the drama" (they won't now that I mentioned it, but we all know they still want to), well, you know that saying that everyone has that one dumb friend. If you don't know who the dumb one is, I've got news for you. You guessed it… Your part of the problem and what I am talking about. When you're part of the photography industry, like many other industries, you can't do anything without people throwing a fit and having something to say about it. Even the suggestion that there are a few minor cracks in the way things happen within the industry is enough to go to war over to these people.
Now, if you're living life for yourself, it's easy enough to pay it no mind. But once you've crossed the threshold of making more than 50 percent of your income as a photographer, create that first name, last name, and photography Facebook page, and add "Professional Photographer" to your resume. It feels one hundred percent of your day is spent putting out little fires, whether you want to or not.
Have an opinion on not wanting to get stalked? Well, here come the other "professionals" in the area in your DMs, telling you they will stalk anyone they like and stfu about it (true story). I constantly woke up to a handful of negative messages and comments about angry Conservatives who got mad that I photographed same-sex marriages and LGBTQ weddings. Liberals angry I photographed conservative bands. Heavier-set people were angry that I photographed people's weight-loss journeys. Local photographers were angry that I got gigs out of state.
The product of extreme polarized opinions - Photographed by Bryan Wark
Like I once got the short end of a negative review campaign for stating the provable fact that cell phones did not have the same quality as modern large-format cameras. It wasn’t an insult to those who think cell phones are good enough, because they are. For many instances they do just fine at capturing that family moment in a quick compact easy to use fashion. They simply do not have the same quality as large format cameras and there is nothing wrong with that.
The raw truth is that the more successful you become, the more protective you have to be of your online ranking and other businesses. As far as I can tell, jealousy will stop at nothing to find a way to destroy your online ranking, and if they care that much, let them have it and be miserable. It goes back to something I have written about before. Claiming you're the best in a game no one else is trying to play with you isn't as impressive as you think it is. So let them keep that "I am the best professional photographer" title; it's no skin off my back. I love my peace, and the professional photography industry is not where I will find it.
One of the first Landscapes Taken by Bryan Wark
I Got Into It For All The Wrong Reasons
Honestly, the real reason I even became a professional photographer was out of pettiness. The real reason I wanted to find professional success in any art field was that I needed to prove a point. I started in photography around the time my wife and I got engaged. I had little experience then, so I didn't know what to expect when looking for a photographer for our wedding. I reached out to several places to get quotes and have yet to hear back from a handful of them, and in that handful, I got a less-than-friendly response.
Krista and Bryan Wark on their wedding day overlooking the Grand Canyon
Never hearing my budget (which I had actually figured was going to cost me around $2 to $6 grand (which was more than their most expensive package at the time), the response was that someone like me would never be able to afford them. The fact is that I tend to dress "bummy." I am not into fancy clothes; I would wear my work uniform on my days off as normal clothes. My wardrobe only consisted of pairs of worn-out denim pants, black T-shirts, or an ICP hoodie.
Sketch by Bryan Wark in 2003
Nonetheless, the response irked me to my core. It struck a memory that lives rent-free in my head indefinitely. When I was a freshman in high school, at 14 years old, an art teacher laughed at me in the middle of class and told me I had no artistic talents and wouldn't ever be an artist. Now it’s subjective if I am or ever was good at art Its not for me to decide. However Since that moment, I have never really done well with people telling me what I am or am not capable of doing. I once hiked one of the high peaks in the Adirondacks with nothing more than bottles of Mountain Dew and drank them when I got to the top after an internet warrior called me fat and said I would never do anything but sit on a couch drinking soda all day.
Once I was told I couldn't afford a service that was within my budget, I set a goal for myself to become successful enough to the point where I would make my living as a photographer, but bigger with more traction and attention. That's exactly what I did... I spent years just grinding and making connections. I found success and became highly sought after. I even got photos I took to go viral. I won awards, and most importantly, I got to the point where I earned enough money to pay all my bills with photography alone. But to what end….
Autographs being signed for fans on photos taken by Bryan Wark
I looked up the company a couple of years ago, and they have gone out of business. You would think that would have been the ultimate, 'Fuck yeah, I made it!' but it wasn't. I felt sad. I found the owner on Facebook, not to reach out but to just see if they were okay from a distance, and they seemed happy with a beautiful, growing family... That is what brought a smile to my face. I felt like I spent so long being angry and spiteful that I forgot how to be human, and it was a reminder of how I need to let go of my resentment that may have fueled my success but limited my ability to grow.
There Is Nothing Wrong With Where You Are If Its Where You Want To Be
I want to leave on this note: professional photography is great. It's an accomplishment you, without a doubt, should be proud of. There are, of course, a lot of things I love and a lot of things I will miss. I truly cannot thank everyone enough for all the love, support, and trust they gave me, especially in my hometown of Binghamton.
Billboard charting artist, TMR - The Marine Rapper visiting Binghamton for a photoshoot with Bryan Wark
There is no way I would have become a professional photographer had it not been for people giving me a shot, and I am forever in their debt. So I don't want anyone who stumbles across this to think that becoming a professional is bad. It's not. There are pros and cons in every industry. But there is nothing wrong with being a hobbyist either, and that's much more my style and personality. It's great that I could give professional photography a shot and find success—another thing to cross off the bucket list. Now it's time to find my peace in creating art just to create it.
Enjoying Time hanging with my best Friends JB and Brittany
