Returning to the World of Paint
I never thought I would find myself here again. As I have said countless times, I have wanted to be an artist my entire life. With that, I have dipped my hands in every medium known to man. I have tried writing poems, making sculptures, making music, doing graphic design, and cartooning with a basic ballpoint pen and a scrap of notebook paper; you name it, I have dipped my toes into the field.
Master Chief searches for Cortana
I have even found varying degrees of success within these fields, including being a published writer, photographer, graphic artist, and even having several movie production credits.
On the Set of a short film
I have a friend, Joshua Laskey, who responds whenever anyone asks him what kind of light he uses for his photographs. "I am an available light photographer," he will say. That perfectly describes the kind of artist I am. I create with what I have available and whatever inspires me at the time. That is what I will use. An available medium artist, if you will.
Godzilla Meets Cloverfield
I could spend all day talking about why I travel from one medium to the next, and honestly, I probably will, but this is about my return to the painting world. A medium I found decent success in and abruptly stopped thinking about again until now: I left it in the dust so fast and with such distaste that my wife of 8 years was shocked to find out I not only used to paint but they used to sell. She had no idea I knew how to hold a paintbrush because I had never mentioned it.
Let It Go!
I had left it in the dust because of a snowball-turned-avalanche of events that made me want to destroy everything I was and never look back. As I wrote this, I heavily debated whether to share that story and explain why in detail. But much like many things during that time of my life, I shall allow the remnants of the years to just dance in the shadows of Camera Head comics and the rest be washed away from existence.
Old Rugged Cross
The fact is, I dedicated 2023 to letting go of the hostility I hold for others, and there was a lot of it during my life when I put paint on canvas. I feel like sharing it would be a way to "get the last word," so to speak, and I don't think I want the last word. It's not even about being the bigger man; it's truly about letting go and not letting it be a part of me anymore. So with the stroke of the keys, I shall relinquish it from my life, keeping it where it lies without bringing things up out of resentment.
In the most basic way of describing my return to painting, it is a way to cover up what was once there. One can use pain as a chaotic form of expression. Unlike photography, nothing about painting needs to be calculated. You can take any brush you want, put on any color your heart desires, and completely pour your soul onto whatever you make your canvas. It can be as detailed or abstract as you want, and no decision is ever permanent.
photographed by Memories by Bravo
There is a scene in the movie Velvet Buzzsaw, a meta film that, on the surface, is a B horror movie, but at its core, really addresses the true purpose of art. Within the movie, there is a part where John Malkovich uses a stick to paint in the sand as the tide comes in. He is creating for no other reason than to create, knowing that nature will soon destroy what was once there, never to be witnessed by another human.
photographed by Memories by Bravo
During my year off of social media, I took much inspiration from that scene. It's, in large part, why I decided I wanted to paint again. I want a chaotic outlet. I want to bleed onto canvas. Although I will put some of my final products online for visual consumption, their overall creation is simply for me.
Grandma Boughton's Landscapes
My other inspiration is my Grandma Boughton. In her life, she painted the most beautiful landscapes, using Bob Ross as her teacher. I remember being home sick from school, and she would paint as I lay on the couch. She didn't paint to show the world, and she didn't paint to hang images in her house. She painted because she loved watching the images come to life. It wasn't until after she passed away that they even went on display, as my grandfather paid to have them all professionally framed. To me, that is inspiring—the ability to be happy with yourself and your art without needing validation from the outside world.
Painting by F. Boughton
An Artist's Writer's Block
Although I am currently working on a concept for images, when I first picked up the paintbrush, I had no idea where to begin; I am prone to writer's block. Grand Ideas will pop into my head and then flee out the door before I can even register the fact I had an Idea. I even had a poem about writer's block published years ago based on a popular meme in a local tabloid-style campus paper that printed everything.
photographed by Memories by Bravo
Needless to say, I am prone to writer's block. I can stare at an empty sheet of paper for days without a single idea of where to start, even if the end product will be abstract and have no viewers. I feel that my intrusive thoughts for perfection, peer acceptance, and overall hate for all things I create hinder my ability to get started.
photographed by Memories by Bravo
New Beginnings
So I did what I always do when I my mind needs to create something but won’t tell me what or where to start. A long time I gave myself a rule. “Reimagine something you have already created from scratch”. My first new painting was to be a reimagining of the last thing I remember painting—a Friday, the thirteenth hockey mask. I give this advice to everyone in the creative field. If you can't think of something new, start with something you know. And so that's what I did, and it inspired me to create the "pop culture" series of paintings, all with the same two attributes: all the colors used are white, black, gold, and red.
Bryan Warks first painting when returning to the world of paint
They all have iconic pop culture references to OPs and characters I have been obsessed with over the years, from Invader Zim to SpongeBob. The entire series is for fun, much like my googly eye sketchbooks I would use to workshop ideas in. They are more about practicing different techniques, learning how different brushes work with canvases, etc. Besides having a connection to my obsession, they have no meaning; I simply like painting them.
I am also working on a second series that has yet to even have a working title, and I am taking it more seriously. I don't know what will come of it, but I am creating it from emotion and personal experiences. Currently, I am only using black, white, and gold paints to create the series, as I already have them on hand, and visually, they appeal to what I wish I could put into words. I wish I were more original, as they are an extremely common color combination, and for a good reason, but alas it is what it is.
Madness combat Painting
Final Thoughts
It is always challenging to start a new journey, even if you have been here before. However, with my first few steps into the unknown, I already feel at home. As Steve Jobs said:
"The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life."
photographed by Memories by Bravo
A special thanks goes out to Julio Bravo for capturing photos of the beginning of this adventure, Mick Thomas of Ten Gallon Hat Studios for capturing and editing the video, and Steph Miti, who helps me take my borderline illiterate writing style and, in a fitting term, give it a fresh coat of paint and make it much more legible.
